Trying different parenting styles and approaches can help you to decide about your baby’s care. Read on to find an approach to suit you.
Who said parenthood didn’t come with a manual? You can pick from thousands of parenting books, and hundreds of theories and approaches. In fact, if you search ‘parenting book’ on a popular mail order site, you’ll get 100,000 results. Crikey.
What’s more, when you become a parent, you will never be short of others’ opinions and advice on how to look after your baby.
It’s fair to say the prominent parenting styles out there aren’t mutually exclusive. Many overlap. Yet others are poles apart. We’ve taken four of the more common – attachment, parent-led, positive and mindful parenting – and looked at these in detail. But you’ll likely have your foot in a number of camps.
Attachment parenting
At one end of the parenting spectrum is a completely baby-led parenting approach.
It generally involves keeping your baby physically close (for instance, using a sling), feeding on demand, being highly responsive to their cries and co-sleeping with them at night. This is sometimes also known as attachment parenting.
Parent-led approach
At the other end is a parent-led approach, where parents encourage their baby to adapt to life around them. Often by adopting a predictable routine. Some well-known babycare books have popularised this approach.
Give yourself time and space to get to grips with your new life with your baby
Some research shows that babies can cry less if parents adopt a baby-led approach. But of course, bouts of inconsolable crying can happen whatever you do.
On the other hand, some evidence that babies can wake less at night after the age of three months if parents adopt a more parent-led approach. This is particularly true for the bedtime routine.
Of course, a whole range of parenting styles fall between these two approaches.
By exploring our articles, you could try to see what works for you.
Chances are, after looking at the various approaches, you’ll find you’re already doing bits and pieces of each. And you might be inspired to try other elements too.
The main thing is to cherry pick tips that chime with you. You’ll probably spot what you think will work best with your child’s temperament and your family’s needs.
It can be helpful to think through some of the things that can influence your approach to parenting:
It can help to bear in mind that there is not one single ‘right’ approach to parenting – babies will thrive in many different environments. What’s important is your love, which will help your baby feel secure and cared for.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make based on what makes you and your family feel happy and confident.
Whether or not you adopt a routine is a personal decision. If you decide to adopt a routine, it is worth bearing in mind that:
With these developmental stages in mind, it is often easier to wait until your baby is at least a few weeks old before you start thinking about routines. Many parents take a more baby-led approach for the first few weeks and adopt a more parent-led approach as their baby’s behaviour becomes more settled and predictable.
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make based on what makes you and your family feel happy
In the first few weeks, try and give yourself time and space to get to grips with your new life with your baby. This is more important than worrying about what you should or shouldn’t be doing.
If following a particular approach is making you stressed and unhappy, it’s perhaps a sign to think about doing something different or to try again when your baby is a bit older.
Most parents find a middle ground or decide to adapt their approach over time as their baby grows and they get to know them.
Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.
Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby. To find out when an NCT nearly new sale is happening near you, search here.
For more advice and ideas when it comes to all aspects of parenting, see our other articles on parenting styles, such as our one on understanding your child’s needs through to how to raise your child to be happy, confident and considerate.
